December 26th, 2023
Dear Santa,
You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the
26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear
up certain things that have occurred since the beginning
of the month! (While filled with illusion I wrote you
this letter) I asked for a bicycle, an electric train
set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform.
I destroyed my brain studying the whole year! Not only
was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades
in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you Santa,
there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved
better than me. With my parents, my brothers, my friends
and with my neighbors, I would go on errands and even
help the elderly cross the street.
There was virtually nothing I wouldn't do for humanity!
WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A FUCKING YO-YO, A STUPID
ASS WHISTLE, AND A PAIR OF SOCKS! WHAT THE F**K WERE
YOU THINKING, YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH, THAT YOU'VE TAKEN
ME FOR A SUCKER THE WHOLE F**KING YEAR, TO COME OUT
WITH SOME SHIT LIKE THIS UNDER THE DAMN TREE. AS IF
YOU HADN'T F**KED ME ENOUGH, YOU GAVE THAT LITTLE SHITHEAD
ACROSS THE STREET SO MANY F**KING TOYS, THAT HE CAN'T
EVEN WALK INTO HIS DAMN HOUSE!
PLEASE DON'T LET ME SEE YOU TRYING TO FIT YOUR BIG FAT
ASS DOWN MY CHIMNEY NEXT YEAR! "I'LL F**K YOU UP!" I'LL
THROW ROCKS AT THOSE STUPID ASS REINDEERS OF YOURS,
AND SCARE THEM THE F**K AWAY, SO YOU'LL HAVE TO WALK
YOUR BIG FAT ASS BACK TO THE NORTHPOLE, JUST LIKE I
HAVE TO DO SINCE YOU DIDN'T GET ME THAT F**KING BIKE,
YOU PUNK BITCH!!
YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA, F**K YOU!! NEXT YEAR YOU'LL FIND
OUT HOW BAD I CAN REALLY F**KING BE...YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING
ON A MOTHERF**KER FAR TOO LONG!
Sincerely,
Little Johnny
Dear Santa,
You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the
26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear
up certain things that have occurred since the beginning
of the month! (While filled with illusion I wrote you
this letter) I asked for a bicycle, an electric train
set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform.
I destroyed my brain studying the whole year! Not only
was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades
in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you Santa,
there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved
better than me. With my parents, my brothers, my friends
and with my neighbors, I would go on errands and even
help the elderly cross the street.
There was virtually nothing I wouldn't do for humanity!
WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A FUCKING YO-YO, A STUPID
ASS WHISTLE, AND A PAIR OF SOCKS! WHAT THE F**K WERE
YOU THINKING, YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH, THAT YOU'VE TAKEN
ME FOR A SUCKER THE WHOLE F**KING YEAR, TO COME OUT
WITH SOME SHIT LIKE THIS UNDER THE DAMN TREE. AS IF
YOU HADN'T F**KED ME ENOUGH, YOU GAVE THAT LITTLE SHITHEAD
ACROSS THE STREET SO MANY F**KING TOYS, THAT HE CAN'T
EVEN WALK INTO HIS DAMN HOUSE!
PLEASE DON'T LET ME SEE YOU TRYING TO FIT YOUR BIG FAT
ASS DOWN MY CHIMNEY NEXT YEAR! "I'LL F**K YOU UP!" I'LL
THROW ROCKS AT THOSE STUPID ASS REINDEERS OF YOURS,
AND SCARE THEM THE F**K AWAY, SO YOU'LL HAVE TO WALK
YOUR BIG FAT ASS BACK TO THE NORTHPOLE, JUST LIKE I
HAVE TO DO SINCE YOU DIDN'T GET ME THAT F**KING BIKE,
YOU PUNK BITCH!!
YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA, F**K YOU!! NEXT YEAR YOU'LL FIND
OUT HOW BAD I CAN REALLY F**KING BE...YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING
ON A MOTHERF**KER FAR TOO LONG!
Sincerely,
Little Johnny
