NFL commissioner Roger Goodell tried rope-a-dope, but he looked like the dope
Jerry Izenberg | For The Star-Ledger By Jerry Izenberg | For The Star-Ledger
on January 31, 2015 at 7:00 AM, updated January 31, 2015 at 7:06 AM
PHOENIX — So there stood the Lord High Oracle of the National Football League about to begin his state of the state message to enough pencils, notepads, iPads, digital recorders and television cameras to cover the original Exodus. It must be said in all truth that the tension was so thick you could cut it with a string of wet dental floss.
Nobody expected a straight answer except on dynamite issues like, "Would the Super Bowl return to Phoenix?" (Answer: "The people, the political leaders, the venues are great.'') Or, is throwing an illegally deflated football like a pitcher throwing a spitball (Answer: "I wouldn't presume to speak about another sport.")
Well, what did you expect — Pete Rozelle or Paul Tagliabue?
After all, this was not the best of years for Roger Goodell.
There was his multiple-choice handling of the Ray Rice domestic violence case. The only adjudication in the history of the National Football that came down with built-in time lapses before it settled on its third decision.
There was Adrian Peterson and the child abuse charge that was plea-bargained out of child abuse.
There was the family of the late Junior Seau pulling out of the huge class action settlement over concussions and instituting a wrongful death lawsuit.
There was — is — Deflategate and the question of whether Goodell's buddy-buddy relationship with New England Patriots owner Bob Kraft is a conflict of interest as Seattle Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman claims.
There also were etc., etc.. etc., which is a way of saying you may take your choice from among the tsunami of issues that rained on Goodell's 2014 parade.
So what did we learn Friday?
Well, he told us that the NFL is considering an expansion of the playoffs — an act that should be classified by the Supreme Court as either viewer abuse or cruel and unusual punishment. We also learned that the league is considering moving around game officials around to various crews — an experiment that already gave us some horrendous calls in the recently concluded playoffs. We also learned that the Rams will not be leaving St. Louis this week for California ... and who could blame them in view of the Disneyland measles outbreak?
In short, on the critical issues, he parsed his words like the lawyer he is. Not once was the phrase "domestic abuse" directly uttered. He managed an end run in which the name "Ray Rice," the term "spousal abuse" and the historical track records of such crimes historically among players was not identified.
He did report that he had learned a lot in this area since August, when the Rice case was piled so high under the rug in his office that the began to look like a Paraguayan ant hill.
Yesterday, he told of a visit to a "shelter" (presumed to be for domestic abuse victims) that he felt their pain. He spoke of in-house experts now ensconced in the league office to address the problems of violence and rape.
It would have been convincing except for the repeated delays and the strange twists of the league investigation into finding a solution in the Rice case.
What he never simply said was "We blew it. We really screwed up." But then, that was no surprise. His rhetoric in the tough areas seemed to parody the words of Marshawn Lynch: "I'm here today so I won't get fined."
He did, however, speak of the league's new concussion policy — and the "culture of safety" it is creating. His claim that concussions are down 25 percent needs a little explaining, however. Concussions might be down from the league's statistics of the previous year — but that number is based solely on the players examined and does not begin to count the players who continued to play because they showed no symptoms that doctors and trainers on the sideline could notice.
We also learned that "football fans are entitled to drama on every play," which is why the rules committee is going to look the boredom of the extra point straight in the eye and revise it with some kind of dramatic formula.
And so it slogged on. This study in obfuscation seemed to initiate a kind of throbbing pain among the assembled pencils not unlike that of root canal therapy. Hence the following exchange:
"You had a tough year in your job. If many of the American people had gone through what you have, they would quit or perhaps be fired. Could you envision circumstance that would lead you to resign?"
"No."
For the record, the answer took less than a nano-second.